watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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