Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
