Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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