rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
