Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
