giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
