Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
