Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
