i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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