If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
