Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
My bed smells like the plague
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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