She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
