guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
His hands were made for my vagina.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
