her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
