This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
