let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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