What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
