You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I will pee on everything he values.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
