I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
