we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
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so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
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It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
The power of my boobs compel you
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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