I didn't shave. On purpose
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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