so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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