can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
