Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
