I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
