So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
