you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
bring money and cleavage
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
