just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
