My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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