I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
