This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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