I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
