Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
