p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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