Welp...herpes.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
