I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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