fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So many bounce houses so little time
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
