if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
