So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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