His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
