Have you finally orgasmed yet?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
