If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
