Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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