Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Soap is not a condiment
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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