Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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