So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
