k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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