Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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