I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
