I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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