I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize