so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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