There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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