remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
