We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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