Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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