I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
