your thong is hanging out like whoa
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
