dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
