This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize