from now on my penis is your penis
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize