I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
accomplished twins. life is a go
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
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