"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
