glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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