I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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