I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
where are my eyebrows?
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