i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
